Weight Lifted

So this blog entry is really not going to be in the order that I was going in. I just recently got back to school and the day that I was leaving for school I found out some interesting news about my ex-boyfriend, the would have been baby daddy, that has helped really put me at peace I think. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders even though I was starting to heal I think that the news I got really helped. So sorry about the randomness.

There is this facebook group on facebook for around the town that I used to live where they post pictures and stuff of the criminals and what they have done and their court date and such. I am not from New York but imagine if I was it would be called something along the lines of , North New York Mug Shots. That is just pretend though, I don't know if they really have that for New York but they do have something like that for near where I used to live. 

I have a younger sister and she was trolling the group page for some reason and came across my ex-boyfriend, "Steves", picture (remember all names are fake for privacy reasons). As I was getting ready to leave she brought up that she had seen "Steve" on there and that he had been arrested for domestic abuse/aggravated assault. Of course I had to get on and look and it doesn't say who he beat but the last comment caught my eye because it said something about his wife. Well when him and I broke up he started dating this other girl almost instantly and she became pregnant. Well he then married her and about 3 months later she wanted a divorce, I don't know if that ever went through but I know that he wasn't living with her and his daughter. Part of me wonders if they got in a fight over their daughter when she was dropping him off or her picking him up and if he beat her.

I digress.

Hearing this for some reason really made me realize that I could have done what people will always think I should have done and that is to have just gone to court and fought for full custody. But if he did beat his child's mother, that could have been me and my daughter or son. I know now that I really did make the best decision. I am going to college in a major that once I graduate I want to do some form of pregnancy counselling so that they know their options and know them well. I am going out there and telling my story to classrooms and such so that women know they are not alone, because that is something I struggled with for almost a year. I know now that he was capable of hurting me or my child and that my child should not have been put at that risk, nor I for that reason. I am happy and am going to college to better my life so that at some point when I do have kids they will be proud of me. I will never forget that I was once pregnant. I will always be blessed that I was able to have a medical abortion so it was like a miscarriage and I will always know that I have a little angel watching over me, bless his/her little heart and that they will forever be a part of who I am.