Left Behind

Home Made Ice Cream

This has nothing to do with any life choice that I have made, but one that my dad made and how it is going to further probably damage our already rocky relationship.

I have been having a lot of health problems that have been stressing me out. Mom and I have been to doctors and to Mayo clinic thinking I was going to have my gall bladder out or worse. Got news that because of antibiotics I had to take before having my root canal that I had gotten antibiotic C Diff. So I have been on medicine for two weeks and if its not cleared up we go from there; I have had it for nine months now.

I was just getting off of having to being in Rochester with my mom for tests and stuff because of medication and before heading back to where I go to school at in Iowa I decided to go to my dads house for fathers day.

Baking Cookies Last Christmas

After a two hour drive I had just pulled up to my dads house and parked; I wasn't even out of the car for five minutes yet when I got the news that him and his fiance were going to be moving to South Dakota. They are moving because she hates her job and to be by her family. This means that the rocky relationship I already have with my dad is only going to get rockier. He puts hardly nothing into our relationship as of right now anyways. The only time we talk is if I call and that is sometimes and never for long; half the time he doesn't even call me back or answer. This means the him moving there I will pretty much never see him and it is going to just be that much harder. I am just so confused on what to do. They say they will figure out some how for us to get out there but I am used to splitting holidays fair and square between my parents and in some way shape or form getting to see both parents in the day and I wont be able to now.

Today has been hard since I got here. You would think I wouldn't care because we do have a rocky relationship and he isn't hardly in my life but for 21 years now I have tried to make my dad proud and tried to have a relationship with him and it hasn't worked. He got bored with me once I couldn't play sports anymore and I remind him to much of my mom I think and he absolutely hates her.

So on top of being upset from that I have been picked on by him and my sister all day and just making it worse. Today we made homemade ice cream and its hard for me because we always do stuff around holidays or when I'm home. At holidays we bake like nobodies business and what not.

Dad, Me, Rox (dads fiance) Holidazzle Parade 

I just don't know what to think and feeling. Can't really talk to mom because she just "dad bashes" and my boyfriend is at work til God knows when tonight.

Just so confused and hurt, I feel like this is the one last shove and that we wont have a relationship at all once he moves. Typing this out is enough to have me tearing up.

Well that is all for now.

Have a wonderful night everyone.