Hey guys!! Its been about a week now since my last post and its been a lot longer than that since we talked abortion. I don't even know if I remember where I was at. But anyways lets talk abortion in this one, or awkward, uncomfortable moments I encounter these days with people that don't know my past.
Awkward moments that can happen can happen any where like you wouldn't believe.
My sister, mom, dad, his fiance, are the only ones in my family who know about my abortion.
First awkward moment that tends to happen a lot and it actually brings up emotions I would think I'd be over by now of hurt and sadness over my choice is when my grandma gets on her rants about teen mom or single moms. Its not her fault because she doesn't know, but she also will never know. My grandpa is a retired Methodist minister and they are both extremely religious in their views and if they knew I had been pregnant or had, had an abortion it would not end well at all. Today her, her sister, and I went to an art festival and then stopped by and visited my cousin who is expecting and her husbands family showed up; well his sister has a child and the father isn't in the picture. Well, when we were walking to the car she brings up how she doesn't have a father in the picture and how its just so tragic that women go through that and what not. I don't know why that start to a conversation triggered something but she always rants. So I sit there thinking, well I'd have a 3 year old this coming January ish if I had kept the child. Which then makes me start thinking about what him/her would be like, if I'd be a good mom and what not and all the emotions start flooding in. The worse part about this is when I have to sit there and listen and hide it and act like everything is okay. Because if I show one ounce of how I'm feeling she will see it and ask and that isn't a can of worms I want to open or deal with.
I think it is safe to say that over the course of the past two years I have become extremely good at masking my pain and emotions. This isn't a good thing though and I don't recommend this to other women or anyone for that case going through a hard time. It is a horrible feeling, feeling like you have this huge, deep, dark secret that you can't tell anyone. I am open with people I don't know because they can judge if they want and they can leave, or they can stick around and get to know the girl that I have become because of what I have gone through. The reason this is really bad is because I hold my feelings in and hide them about almost everything in my life that hurts me.
Another awkward moment is when you are walking down to your college and you walk past a smaller place of where you got your abortion and its not even the one that practices abortions but there is a woman out there every day holding a sign and doing her thing saying how bad they are, not to do them, and so on. This is a little bit easier to get over and doesn't cause as many emotions to arise. Its more just uncomfortable. Eventually I learned how to ignore it.
Out of this whole experience I have found many people who accept it, I even had a friend that told me she had gone through it herself in high school also.
I think that I am stronger for it. I may have my weak points but I know when the time is right that I will be an amazing mother and I have so much love to give.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Gone But Not Forgotten
I haven't written in a while, well I guess since I wrote about dad moving.I have decided that I am not struggling with the fact that he is moving, but that I know we will no longer really have a relationship because he wont put fourth effort; but that is not what I am going to write about today.
In two months it will be a year from when I met Dillon and shortly after Christmas it will be a year of him being gone already. I still have a hard time believing that he is gone and that he took his own life. I will forever be baffeled on why he took his life where he did, church parking lot. That makes quite the statement. He was always so happy though and always there for everybody.
I remember when I found out clear as day. I didn't think I would be able to make it to the mandatory house meeting that our hall director was doing on our floor because I had school work to do down on campus. I went down and talked to him early and found out that he had passed away, his cousin then told me he had committed suicide.Big blow up pink monkey finally took a turn for the worse and died which is sad cause if it hadn't been for that monkey I never would have met him and made such a great friend.
Dillon you are gone but not forgotten. I miss you.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Left Behind
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| Home Made Ice Cream |
I have been having a lot of health problems that have been stressing me out. Mom and I have been to doctors and to Mayo clinic thinking I was going to have my gall bladder out or worse. Got news that because of antibiotics I had to take before having my root canal that I had gotten antibiotic C Diff. So I have been on medicine for two weeks and if its not cleared up we go from there; I have had it for nine months now.
I was just getting off of having to being in Rochester with my mom for tests and stuff because of medication and before heading back to where I go to school at in Iowa I decided to go to my dads house for fathers day.
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| Baking Cookies Last Christmas |
After a two hour drive I had just pulled up to my dads house and parked; I wasn't even out of the car for five minutes yet when I got the news that him and his fiance were going to be moving to South Dakota. They are moving because she hates her job and to be by her family. This means that the rocky relationship I already have with my dad is only going to get rockier. He puts hardly nothing into our relationship as of right now anyways. The only time we talk is if I call and that is sometimes and never for long; half the time he doesn't even call me back or answer. This means the him moving there I will pretty much never see him and it is going to just be that much harder. I am just so confused on what to do. They say they will figure out some how for us to get out there but I am used to splitting holidays fair and square between my parents and in some way shape or form getting to see both parents in the day and I wont be able to now.
Today has been hard since I got here. You would think I wouldn't care because we do have a rocky relationship and he isn't hardly in my life but for 21 years now I have tried to make my dad proud and tried to have a relationship with him and it hasn't worked. He got bored with me once I couldn't play sports anymore and I remind him to much of my mom I think and he absolutely hates her.
So on top of being upset from that I have been picked on by him and my sister all day and just making it worse. Today we made homemade ice cream and its hard for me because we always do stuff around holidays or when I'm home. At holidays we bake like nobodies business and what not.
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| Dad, Me, Rox (dads fiance) Holidazzle Parade |
Just so confused and hurt, I feel like this is the one last shove and that we wont have a relationship at all once he moves. Typing this out is enough to have me tearing up.
Well that is all for now.
Have a wonderful night everyone.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Anxiety
Hey guys. I know these posts come random and they don't all have to do with abortion. I'm a college student so I write when I have time.
On a happy note I just got a job at Lutheran Services here where I live. I will be working with kids who have behavioral issues for the most part. I am really excited.
Anyways....
Sunday evening I had a major melt down. I have had really bad anxiety ever since I was with some of my ex-boyfriends who were abusive. I didn't used to take people critiquing me poorly and having the vulnerable feeling didn't used to bother me as much as it does now. I get pretty bad anxiety when people are talking to me and I feel like I am vulnerable or like they are picking on me. Its something that I have noticed for a while now and have been working on fixing. It has slowly been getting better but with graduating in a little over a year I want to get it under control. I never do it when I am at work or out in public, but the anxiety once it peaks can make me yell or just get beyond defensive.
So Sunday i was studying for my abuse and illness test that I had today and it was about domestic abuse and it talked about being controlling and not wanting them to hang out with their friends and that made me think of how I was with my most recent ex-boyfriend and that scared the crap out of me. I called my mom and asked her if she though I was and we both have come to the conclusion that I'm not. My last ex-boyfriend cheated on me and played mind games and lied a lot so I just need to realize that if I start having feelings of I need to know where he is at all times that I need to end the relationship because its not healthy for me and I probably don't trust him at all.
But in this conversation with my mom a very big fear that I think I knew I kind of had but not how bad it was came to light. I realized that I don't want to be anything like my dad. My dad is controlling and manipulative. He doesn't care about anybody but himself. He was pretty much a sperm donor and now only wants to be in my life when it is convenient for him. I love him and he is my dad but I don't want any of his qualities because I can't think of one good one.
So I think my message here is that if you are feeling down or like something quite isn't right maybe talk to somebody you can trust because there could be an underlying issue like mine (not wanting to be like my dad) and who knows when that could effect you. That is one of my problems is that I think I have to deal with all the stress and emotions alone and then I blow up eventually. My mom and I have a relationship where I can call her when i start to feel stressed, angry, or when I feel anxiety coming on. I know for me the worst of these is the anxiety because it can hit so fast that if I don't get it dealt with I can yell at my mom.
If you tend to have these situations like anger or anxiety some things you can do are:
- find an activity that you like to do and put the energy you feel from the emotion into it
- examples: Counter cross stitching, knitting, writing, drawing
- Talk to someone
- If you feel an emotion coming on try to talk to somebody because maybe they can help calm you down
-Play dough
-Yes, i said it. Play dough. If you are someone who gets the urge to hit someone or something get play dough or a stress ball and squeeze it instead of acting out.
On a happy note I just got a job at Lutheran Services here where I live. I will be working with kids who have behavioral issues for the most part. I am really excited.
Anyways....
Sunday evening I had a major melt down. I have had really bad anxiety ever since I was with some of my ex-boyfriends who were abusive. I didn't used to take people critiquing me poorly and having the vulnerable feeling didn't used to bother me as much as it does now. I get pretty bad anxiety when people are talking to me and I feel like I am vulnerable or like they are picking on me. Its something that I have noticed for a while now and have been working on fixing. It has slowly been getting better but with graduating in a little over a year I want to get it under control. I never do it when I am at work or out in public, but the anxiety once it peaks can make me yell or just get beyond defensive.
So Sunday i was studying for my abuse and illness test that I had today and it was about domestic abuse and it talked about being controlling and not wanting them to hang out with their friends and that made me think of how I was with my most recent ex-boyfriend and that scared the crap out of me. I called my mom and asked her if she though I was and we both have come to the conclusion that I'm not. My last ex-boyfriend cheated on me and played mind games and lied a lot so I just need to realize that if I start having feelings of I need to know where he is at all times that I need to end the relationship because its not healthy for me and I probably don't trust him at all.
But in this conversation with my mom a very big fear that I think I knew I kind of had but not how bad it was came to light. I realized that I don't want to be anything like my dad. My dad is controlling and manipulative. He doesn't care about anybody but himself. He was pretty much a sperm donor and now only wants to be in my life when it is convenient for him. I love him and he is my dad but I don't want any of his qualities because I can't think of one good one.
So I think my message here is that if you are feeling down or like something quite isn't right maybe talk to somebody you can trust because there could be an underlying issue like mine (not wanting to be like my dad) and who knows when that could effect you. That is one of my problems is that I think I have to deal with all the stress and emotions alone and then I blow up eventually. My mom and I have a relationship where I can call her when i start to feel stressed, angry, or when I feel anxiety coming on. I know for me the worst of these is the anxiety because it can hit so fast that if I don't get it dealt with I can yell at my mom.
If you tend to have these situations like anger or anxiety some things you can do are:
- find an activity that you like to do and put the energy you feel from the emotion into it
- examples: Counter cross stitching, knitting, writing, drawing
- Talk to someone
- If you feel an emotion coming on try to talk to somebody because maybe they can help calm you down
-Play dough
-Yes, i said it. Play dough. If you are someone who gets the urge to hit someone or something get play dough or a stress ball and squeeze it instead of acting out.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
When Is Enough, Enough?
When is enough, enough?
I am having a hard time deciding the answer to this question.
My dad and I have never had a very good relationship. He thinks I don't remember when I was little but I do. He was hardly ever around and was never there for me emotionally. How he treated my mom wasn't right and then my freshmen year of high school he admitted to having multiple affairs and him and my mom finally divorced.
There are time when I feel like our relationship will finally start getting better but he never will really know me and its like he doesn't want to. He pretty much disowned me once a long time ago. I think my junior year of high school. He wouldn't talk to me or see me, it wasn't until my junior prom that he finally showed up to take pictures with me.
Well last weekend we got into a pretty bad fight because my sister and I had been fighting. He doesn't seem to understand that me and her fight but that we get over it pretty quick.
Anyways he yelled at me and her, I don't even think yelling covers what he did. I let it slip that I had, had an abortion and he didn't say anything about it and still hasn't and it is a two weeks later. Well then he pretty much told me that he didn't care if I was in his life at all and my mom was about to put me up in a hotel room she had booked it and everything because the roads were bad and I couldn't drive back to school. After my sister begged him to call me he finally did, so I went back to his house and stayed til early the next morning.
He hasn't hardly talked to me since then unless I called. Well today is his birthday, I called once this morning and sent him a text message and I called again this evening and he hasn't answered or responded and I know that he is home and not busy because my younger sister is there. He does this to my brother where he wont answer and then he will say that he didn't call. I just don't know when to say enough is enough.
He wont talk to me about my abortion, which just makes me think that much more that he doesn't really care about getting to know who I really am or that he wants to be there for me any more now then he did when I was younger.
He won't answer his phone, which I'm not going to spend all night calling him when apparently I am not important enough to talk to. I've heard my whole life from him that I look like my mom and I remind him of my mom and he hates my mom, so it always makes me think that, that is part of the reason why he hates me. But if that is why then that is his choice. I love my mom, she is beautiful and I wouldn't want to be like anyone else.
I know that this doesn't really have much to do with my abortion but it has been bothering me tonight and this always helps me to get over stuff. At least I have my brother who has been in some what of the same situation that I have been, so I can talk to him. I cried tonight and my mom and her husband were there for me.
I have spent 21 years trying to have a relationship with him and I just am at the point that I don't want to be the only one trying anymore. I can't keep going through the emotional turmoil. I love him and he is my dad but if he doesn't want to be in my life then that is his choice and he is missing out. It is just really hard to finally be letting that strand go after trying so hard. I do love him but when is enough, enough?
I am having a hard time deciding the answer to this question.
My dad and I have never had a very good relationship. He thinks I don't remember when I was little but I do. He was hardly ever around and was never there for me emotionally. How he treated my mom wasn't right and then my freshmen year of high school he admitted to having multiple affairs and him and my mom finally divorced.
There are time when I feel like our relationship will finally start getting better but he never will really know me and its like he doesn't want to. He pretty much disowned me once a long time ago. I think my junior year of high school. He wouldn't talk to me or see me, it wasn't until my junior prom that he finally showed up to take pictures with me.
Well last weekend we got into a pretty bad fight because my sister and I had been fighting. He doesn't seem to understand that me and her fight but that we get over it pretty quick.
Anyways he yelled at me and her, I don't even think yelling covers what he did. I let it slip that I had, had an abortion and he didn't say anything about it and still hasn't and it is a two weeks later. Well then he pretty much told me that he didn't care if I was in his life at all and my mom was about to put me up in a hotel room she had booked it and everything because the roads were bad and I couldn't drive back to school. After my sister begged him to call me he finally did, so I went back to his house and stayed til early the next morning.
He hasn't hardly talked to me since then unless I called. Well today is his birthday, I called once this morning and sent him a text message and I called again this evening and he hasn't answered or responded and I know that he is home and not busy because my younger sister is there. He does this to my brother where he wont answer and then he will say that he didn't call. I just don't know when to say enough is enough.
He wont talk to me about my abortion, which just makes me think that much more that he doesn't really care about getting to know who I really am or that he wants to be there for me any more now then he did when I was younger.
He won't answer his phone, which I'm not going to spend all night calling him when apparently I am not important enough to talk to. I've heard my whole life from him that I look like my mom and I remind him of my mom and he hates my mom, so it always makes me think that, that is part of the reason why he hates me. But if that is why then that is his choice. I love my mom, she is beautiful and I wouldn't want to be like anyone else.
I know that this doesn't really have much to do with my abortion but it has been bothering me tonight and this always helps me to get over stuff. At least I have my brother who has been in some what of the same situation that I have been, so I can talk to him. I cried tonight and my mom and her husband were there for me.
I have spent 21 years trying to have a relationship with him and I just am at the point that I don't want to be the only one trying anymore. I can't keep going through the emotional turmoil. I love him and he is my dad but if he doesn't want to be in my life then that is his choice and he is missing out. It is just really hard to finally be letting that strand go after trying so hard. I do love him but when is enough, enough?
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Weight Lifted
So this blog entry is really not going to be in the order that I was going in. I just recently got back to school and the day that I was leaving for school I found out some interesting news about my ex-boyfriend, the would have been baby daddy, that has helped really put me at peace I think. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders even though I was starting to heal I think that the news I got really helped. So sorry about the randomness.
There is this facebook group on facebook for around the town that I used to live where they post pictures and stuff of the criminals and what they have done and their court date and such. I am not from New York but imagine if I was it would be called something along the lines of , North New York Mug Shots. That is just pretend though, I don't know if they really have that for New York but they do have something like that for near where I used to live.
I have a younger sister and she was trolling the group page for some reason and came across my ex-boyfriend, "Steves", picture (remember all names are fake for privacy reasons). As I was getting ready to leave she brought up that she had seen "Steve" on there and that he had been arrested for domestic abuse/aggravated assault. Of course I had to get on and look and it doesn't say who he beat but the last comment caught my eye because it said something about his wife. Well when him and I broke up he started dating this other girl almost instantly and she became pregnant. Well he then married her and about 3 months later she wanted a divorce, I don't know if that ever went through but I know that he wasn't living with her and his daughter. Part of me wonders if they got in a fight over their daughter when she was dropping him off or her picking him up and if he beat her.
I digress.
Hearing this for some reason really made me realize that I could have done what people will always think I should have done and that is to have just gone to court and fought for full custody. But if he did beat his child's mother, that could have been me and my daughter or son. I know now that I really did make the best decision. I am going to college in a major that once I graduate I want to do some form of pregnancy counselling so that they know their options and know them well. I am going out there and telling my story to classrooms and such so that women know they are not alone, because that is something I struggled with for almost a year. I know now that he was capable of hurting me or my child and that my child should not have been put at that risk, nor I for that reason. I am happy and am going to college to better my life so that at some point when I do have kids they will be proud of me. I will never forget that I was once pregnant. I will always be blessed that I was able to have a medical abortion so it was like a miscarriage and I will always know that I have a little angel watching over me, bless his/her little heart and that they will forever be a part of who I am.
There is this facebook group on facebook for around the town that I used to live where they post pictures and stuff of the criminals and what they have done and their court date and such. I am not from New York but imagine if I was it would be called something along the lines of , North New York Mug Shots. That is just pretend though, I don't know if they really have that for New York but they do have something like that for near where I used to live.
I have a younger sister and she was trolling the group page for some reason and came across my ex-boyfriend, "Steves", picture (remember all names are fake for privacy reasons). As I was getting ready to leave she brought up that she had seen "Steve" on there and that he had been arrested for domestic abuse/aggravated assault. Of course I had to get on and look and it doesn't say who he beat but the last comment caught my eye because it said something about his wife. Well when him and I broke up he started dating this other girl almost instantly and she became pregnant. Well he then married her and about 3 months later she wanted a divorce, I don't know if that ever went through but I know that he wasn't living with her and his daughter. Part of me wonders if they got in a fight over their daughter when she was dropping him off or her picking him up and if he beat her.
I digress.
Hearing this for some reason really made me realize that I could have done what people will always think I should have done and that is to have just gone to court and fought for full custody. But if he did beat his child's mother, that could have been me and my daughter or son. I know now that I really did make the best decision. I am going to college in a major that once I graduate I want to do some form of pregnancy counselling so that they know their options and know them well. I am going out there and telling my story to classrooms and such so that women know they are not alone, because that is something I struggled with for almost a year. I know now that he was capable of hurting me or my child and that my child should not have been put at that risk, nor I for that reason. I am happy and am going to college to better my life so that at some point when I do have kids they will be proud of me. I will never forget that I was once pregnant. I will always be blessed that I was able to have a medical abortion so it was like a miscarriage and I will always know that I have a little angel watching over me, bless his/her little heart and that they will forever be a part of who I am.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Forever a Statistic, Forever a Survivor.
So it is 2 in the morning here and I just got done reading a book that I had just bought today called Easy by Tammara Webber.
I am going to write another blog entry that has nothing to do with my abortion, sorry guys.
So after my abortion I dated "Paul" and he seemed like such a nice guy at first. We were together in total for just over a year. We fell for each other almost instantly and then from that minute on we couldn't be apart from each other. Well over the summer I moved in with him and his dad in minnesota so I was compeletely away from my family, that was hard. Well by this time things were rough, he'd leave bruises and marks and stuff.
Well the worst thing happened around the Fourth of July. We were sleeping in a tent in the front yard of his brothers house that way we could go to all of the festivities, well I was supposed to be at work by 7 the morning of the 4th which meant that I had to get up really early because I had a fourty-five minute commute. Well he was late coming home from his friends house, which he had been at because he was throwing a party. When he got to the tent he was drunk and through out our whole relationship he had wanted to try anal sex with me and I just wouldn't. Well I was having a hard time sleeping because of the noises so when he got home i rolled over to cuddle with him and the next thing I knew he was trying to get in my pants. He rapped me that night, anally. The next morning and even that night before he fell asleep he felt horrible. The next day I didn't go to work and he kept apologizing because I was in a lot of pain. It took me a few weeks to finally leave him but that was what made me realize that I needed to. I did finally leave. My major in college is child, adult, family services and this year I learned that it is not unnatural for a woman to take 5 to 7 attempts to leave an abusive spouse before they finally get out for good. I never told anybody about it, not even my family and I felt like nobody would believe me if I went to the cops. He now lives in a different state than me and is with a girlfriend that he has been with for over a year. It took me a while to heal but I have for the most part. I hate if anyone acts like they are going to smack my ass or grab it but that is about it.
The reason I am writing about this is because of the book I read. It was about a college girl, whose ex-boyfriends friend tried to rape her after leaving a party and how a guy saved her. For the most part the things that had to do with the rape and the after effects were pretty accurate. It is a cute love story kind of but it was still good. Those kinds of things make me a little anxious but throughout the book it talks about how she deals with it and she even goes to a self defense class. At the end of the book it also has numbers to call if you know someone or are someone that needs to talk to someone and even discussion questions. In another class this year we learned about bibliotherapy and I think if I had been someone who had done bibliotherapy this book would have helped me realize the different things I could do to get over it and to help protect myself from it happening again. I have been using bilbiotherapy techniques to help heal with the whole abortion thing but its amazing that until reading a book, that I had just picked up at a book store, not knowing what it was about would help me.
My ending note is.....
Men don't be the person girls are afraid of. To the good men, stand up, if you see a girl being abused or if you know a friend can get aggressive when drunk or sober. If it was your mother, daughter, sister, girlfriend, ect. would you want them to go through it? I think the answer to that is no.
My ending not to women...
Don't stay a victim. I did for a while but I realized that yes I am a statistic and I did nothing to have stopped it but I can help girls now. That is why I am in the major that I am in. I can talk to girls and make them realize that they are not alone. Mine might not be as bad as some but it is nice to know that you are not alone. There are things you can do to protect yourself. Take a self defense course, carry pepper spray, be aware of your surrounds, walk in pairs at night, ect.
Well that is it for me tonight.
Night all!
I am going to write another blog entry that has nothing to do with my abortion, sorry guys.
So after my abortion I dated "Paul" and he seemed like such a nice guy at first. We were together in total for just over a year. We fell for each other almost instantly and then from that minute on we couldn't be apart from each other. Well over the summer I moved in with him and his dad in minnesota so I was compeletely away from my family, that was hard. Well by this time things were rough, he'd leave bruises and marks and stuff.
Well the worst thing happened around the Fourth of July. We were sleeping in a tent in the front yard of his brothers house that way we could go to all of the festivities, well I was supposed to be at work by 7 the morning of the 4th which meant that I had to get up really early because I had a fourty-five minute commute. Well he was late coming home from his friends house, which he had been at because he was throwing a party. When he got to the tent he was drunk and through out our whole relationship he had wanted to try anal sex with me and I just wouldn't. Well I was having a hard time sleeping because of the noises so when he got home i rolled over to cuddle with him and the next thing I knew he was trying to get in my pants. He rapped me that night, anally. The next morning and even that night before he fell asleep he felt horrible. The next day I didn't go to work and he kept apologizing because I was in a lot of pain. It took me a few weeks to finally leave him but that was what made me realize that I needed to. I did finally leave. My major in college is child, adult, family services and this year I learned that it is not unnatural for a woman to take 5 to 7 attempts to leave an abusive spouse before they finally get out for good. I never told anybody about it, not even my family and I felt like nobody would believe me if I went to the cops. He now lives in a different state than me and is with a girlfriend that he has been with for over a year. It took me a while to heal but I have for the most part. I hate if anyone acts like they are going to smack my ass or grab it but that is about it.
The reason I am writing about this is because of the book I read. It was about a college girl, whose ex-boyfriends friend tried to rape her after leaving a party and how a guy saved her. For the most part the things that had to do with the rape and the after effects were pretty accurate. It is a cute love story kind of but it was still good. Those kinds of things make me a little anxious but throughout the book it talks about how she deals with it and she even goes to a self defense class. At the end of the book it also has numbers to call if you know someone or are someone that needs to talk to someone and even discussion questions. In another class this year we learned about bibliotherapy and I think if I had been someone who had done bibliotherapy this book would have helped me realize the different things I could do to get over it and to help protect myself from it happening again. I have been using bilbiotherapy techniques to help heal with the whole abortion thing but its amazing that until reading a book, that I had just picked up at a book store, not knowing what it was about would help me.
My ending note is.....
Men don't be the person girls are afraid of. To the good men, stand up, if you see a girl being abused or if you know a friend can get aggressive when drunk or sober. If it was your mother, daughter, sister, girlfriend, ect. would you want them to go through it? I think the answer to that is no.
My ending not to women...
Don't stay a victim. I did for a while but I realized that yes I am a statistic and I did nothing to have stopped it but I can help girls now. That is why I am in the major that I am in. I can talk to girls and make them realize that they are not alone. Mine might not be as bad as some but it is nice to know that you are not alone. There are things you can do to protect yourself. Take a self defense course, carry pepper spray, be aware of your surrounds, walk in pairs at night, ect.
Well that is it for me tonight.
Night all!
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